While listening to my friend today, the thought occurred to me, we are never truly alone. No matter how alone we think we are, someone sees and someone cares. I think back to all the times that I felt alone growing up, all the times that I felt like no one cared…it wasn’t true.
My friend was talking about how she felt exhausted after such an emotional day. Things felt harder than usual and the simplest tasks were a struggle. On her drive home after this tiresome day, the school bus full of middle schoolers stopped in front of the Salvation Army and let this young girl off. As the girl walked into the building, she get tears imagining the embarrassment and cruelty of the kids on the bus. If only they had let her off a few buildings up or not waited until she had entered. She could only imagine how hard the next day might be for that sweet, sweet girl. If it bothered that middle schooler, as one can only imagine it did, she surely felt terribly alone in that long walk to the door of the building. She surely felt all eyes cruelly judging her from the windows. And yet, just beyond was a kind soul shedding tears, sharing in her pain.
I think back to all those times I felt shamed as a kid, from the little boy making jokes about my bodysize in 5th grade to the mean shrew-like kid in 6th grade who angrily teased me after I won the quiz bowl. I can see her anger, shame and frustration clearly. I see with compassion that she stuffs the embarrassment inside, swallows it day after day believing everyone thinks as they do.
But now I know, that wasn’t true. I wasn’t alone. I am there watching. When I tell this story, the listeners are there, with kindness. We are never alone. My adult self looks on with compassion and now, if I ever see this again, I can look on this sweet soul with compassion. I can reach out with kindness and hope to open their eyes to the rest of the world. I will know what to do, and for this I am grateful. Just breathe and remember you are never alone.
With Reiki and Sound Therapy I have done deep work to release this younger part of me from the trauma. This is soul retrieval, this is repatterning my brain, this is also what I call time travel. Through journey work, Sound Therapy, Singing and laughter we can go back and heal, we can be our own best friend. Now is what matters and realizing we are never alone.