Importance of Being Vulnerable

As I have matured and learned Sound Helaing Methods like Biofield Tuning and Usui Reiki, I have uncovered much in myself (and it seems that life will continue to uncover these moments) of past emotional trauma. The more I work, the more love and compassion I feel for how tough it is to be alive today.  The simple daily accomplishments of times past are no longer viewed as important or worthy.  We are expected to do so much every day on our own: be financially successful, run a household, raise children and manage to fix and maintain all the gadgets that allow one to be super human…how intimidating!

Feeling super independent is a gift but also a curse because I never asked anyone for help. I believed it was up to me to grow up, leave my family, and create a whole new life for myself.   I had friends but never thought that I would include them in helping me be successful.  I never asked for help with laundry if I was sick, asked for help with meals if I were buried at work, asked for help with the car if it was broken, or admitted I didn’t know how to do something.  What a recipe for disaster!

I felt completely unsupported and separate from my family, and yet never included my friends in asking for support either.  Much of this was self-imposed and the energetic imbalance shows up all over the physical body. My back would hurt, and I would unconsciously hunch over in a self-protective stance that hurt much by then end of the work day.  The area for feeling supported energetically and spiritually is the back. I judge others who received help from their families to be weak, while also feeling jealous of their team of support.   As I got older I happily helped a sick friend but never asked for the same.  That was such an imbalance.  I just couldn’t let them see me be “weak.”  That belief was deep, and I didn’t even know it was there. 

During the first session in Biofield Tuning, the amount of work done in the Sacral chakra that ties in with shame was tremendous.  My lower back and right hip were constantly hurting me at the time.  I had no idea how many limiting beliefs were stored there and locking me in a painful position of thinking I had to do too much all the time. My detox after the session was pretty intense, but I was so amazed at how light I felt.  I could stand straight and tall easily and my digestion was excellent.  My right hip did not hurt anymore.

With learning about the anatomy of the energy field around the body and where we store things emotionally, I have learned a great deal about our culture and how weird it is.  We are taught to value being alone and not sharing, as community living prevents material gain.  I valued being strong and silent.  I valued helping others, but I never valued asking for help.  The imbalance is super clear to me now.  I was being superhuman.  I didn’t allow anyone to see my humanity.  Being independent so fiercely, I cut myself out from a stronger network of support. I rarely would even ask my kids to help me.

Allowing myself to be open is still hard for me, but I see how important and empowering it is.  When I ask for my kids to help me, I give them room to be a provider.  They feel super empowered to help with even little things. This gives them space to grow.  Same for my friendships, it is as important to give as it is to receive.  I understand that now on so many energetic and physical levels.

Feeling supported can come from not only my immediate family, but also from my surroundings. The Earth beneath my feet supports me,  cleans the water to drink, nourishes food to eat, the sky provides air to breathe, and the sun to grow food.  All of this supports me and helps to keep my physical body balanced, as well as my energy body and spirit body. Once I understood this, I realized that even without family being present physically, one can experience support. We have true abundance at this time.  Basic physical needs are so easily met and that is worthy of gratitude and acknowledgement day to day.  Love and gratitude is such a balancing and empowering feeling.  Take breaks today to express love and gratitude for all that is around you…and you will feel the difference.

 

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